Thursday, October 11, 2007

Letting go

There's no doubt about you leaving...

I hoped I can tip the scale... give you one more reason to stay... not being the reason, but be another one... be that good enough... but again, there's no doubt about you leaving... is what you feel you have to do... it's hard to face it, but I know...

From time to time life makes me relive how hard it is to let go. It makes me think that life is just a succession of goodbyes. After so many times I would be tempted to think one gets used to it, but when it happens I know it's not that way.

Sometimes letting go is harder and can bring you to your knees as that which is going away makes you feel more complete... like it's part of your whole being... even if you can't explain why... you just feel it.

And again in this situation I'm face to face with the question: Should I lock myself inside in my place to hide and drown my feelings until I stop feeling anything, or should I make the most out of the experience and take the most nice pictures I can in and for my mind?

I'm also tempted to think I would already have the answer to this question, but I don't. I have tried both options in the past with mixed results. That doesn't help.

It's sad and painful that you, so good and so fine, won't be here soon to make me feel the way you do... this sensation of running out of time can sometimes be unbearable...

...yes, I miss you already...

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Missing...

She sends a text message: "I'll miss you tonight"

I reply: "I have been and will be missing you more than that"

Friday, September 07, 2007

Red-wine kiss

I'm opening a new bottle as we talk and I keep reviewing what has been said in the back of my mind... so I didn't noticed her approaching, silent and smooth, until I turn around.

There she is... no more than three inches away.

Kisses me... bitter-sweet... bitter for what is not going to be, sweet for the moment and for what could have been...

Turns around and leaves. It's goodbye.

And I realize that the red wine I had from her lips would be the finest wine for some time to come...

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Bumper Stickers...

Son las 7:30am... muy temprano para salir a trabajar asi que voy a escribir (después de una larga pausa) sobre bumper stickers...

Además de ayudar a depreciar aceleradamente el valor de tu carro, algunos sirven para recordar la frase 'haz como digo y no como hago'. Llevo observando por el retrovisor a esta señora cambiando de carriles agresiva y constantemente y cuando finalmente me pasa por el lado izquierdo por el solo, pero no para virar sino para colarse más al frente, veo que tiene un bumper sticker que dice '¿Crees en Jesucristo? ¡Que se te note!'

...debe ser que la señora iba tarde para su crucifixión...

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Autogermana Presents: MINI 2007 Launch Party

On Thursday, March 8, Autogermana made a Launch Party to present the new MINI 2007. It was full of fellow motorers that had a great time knowing each other and enjoying the activity that consisted of DJ Music, presenting the first 4 'Webisodes' of Hammer and Coop, the music video of Hammer and Coop performing in a lookalike music video of 'The Heat of the Moment' by Asia. All that was followed then by the entrance to the dealer of the 2007 MINI Cooper. Later people had the chance to take a look up close and personal with it. The car keeps the same aura even thought it has been redesigned almost completely. I'm not going to write a full review again as there's a good one from the people at Motoring File. Go ahead and check it out. The 2007 MINI they presented was the Cooper and some people (including me) were left in cold water wanting to see the Cooper S with it's new engine that has a turbo instead of a supercharger, but didn't stopped any of us from taking a closer look and starting the car without a key and using the new Start/Stop button, playing with the 7 different ambient colors you can select inside the car or using the double-pane inclination sunroof.

The people at Autogermana MINI and Adworks excelled with the organization and the details. Besides the event, they gave out some nice T's and an invitation to test drive the 2007 MINI today all-day from 9am to 5pm at the dealer. You can get a glimpse of what happened at the web album.

2007-03-09 - MINI 2007 Presentation

Yajaira's 28th Birthday Party @ Logan's Irish Pub

Here are some photos of Yajaira's Birthday party. Had a great time in there spending some quality time with friends and enjoying some good cover music from the band.

Happy Birthday Yari!

P.S.
Who's birthday is next?, ^_-

2007-03-07 - Yajaira's Birthday Party

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Frustration

Definition

When dealing with a feeling, I usually try to get its definition first as a way to try and understand and then work with it.

Yesterday at La Placita and later at the Great Taste oriental restaurant in the Condado area, Ángel and I were talking about this friend we have in common, John, that besides being a resident of Friend-zone town as Ángel is and even myself since I can remember, he's going through a stage of frustration that both of us had experienced in similar ways as his concerning liking someone so much, but you don't mean a thing to that someone.

According to John, she has come to him to seek advice, to let out what she's going through. He has been her crying shoulder, and besides the fact of liking her so much, he also worries about her and would like to see her not suffering anymore with a man that seems to treat her as an object to have and control than a person. So his frustration is in 2 ways: frustration because no matter what he had told her to wake up and break the cycle of a problematic relationship, she still insists in being there, and also the frustration of not having an opportunity of her having the same interest as he has of knowing each other better to see if what they've been looking for could be found in each other.

Ángel was telling me that he had told John that he has to sort a way to let that someone know the frustration he's feeling. To come to a closure with her, for good or bad, but at least be sincere and at least end with the satisfaction of not keeping those feelings for himself and the regret of what could have happened.

In my case, I told John to stay away. If she has not given any sign of interest, then he should stay away, not be rude, but not dedicate time and effort more than what he has already given. He has been a crying shoulder for her, has been interested in her well-being, given advice and had demonstrated interest to some extent, but he hasn't seen any sign of interest from her. To stay away and not dedicate time is a way to make weak that one-way bond his having to her right now. Relationships and bonds grow stronger with time spent together. Then the opposite applies. To stay away is a way to drown, suffocate or dilute that one-way bond that provokes in John those feeling of frustration and anger towards her and the situation as a whole.

After telling our points, Ángel told me that the advice I gave John was dangerous because it could provoke her to get scared of John and not develop interest in him. That maybe she has not seen John with interest or demonstrated it because she could be very engulfed in her actual problem. That John should continue to be by her side, but not giving too much.

That's really the point that concerns me about that approach. Frustration and anger can get bigger and out of control the more you feel you 'loose' in a situation. Time, advice, caring... the very things that you then feel wasted and lost when things don't turn out the way one would have liked (or have dreamed of as happens to us utopian-dreamers sagittarians)... the more you give of them in this kind of situation the more anger and frustration you develop when things don't start to go as one would have liked.

So maybe there could be a happy medium... giving without giving too much. That sounds like a lot of self control.

Or be clear as soon as you feel in a certain way with that someone so both can talk and know what you can expect.

Or if there are no early signs, keep your distance, drown the feeling until you feel nothing. Then you can see and treat her as a regular bystander.

Ángel's point of happy medium and being sincere and letting her know sound OK, but requires a lot of self control.

I've tried it in the past, but think that a little too late on the giving part and I have given too much... when decided to be sincere because I couldn't stand it anymore, I have always been treated with the 'I see you as a friend' treatment. I have ended up cutting the person off completely and sometimes even been slightly rude. I don't feel good about it, just the frustration and anger were out of control. I don't want that to happen to me anymore and that's why I gave that advice to John, so he doesn't end up with those feelings that take some much to go away and he can protect himself in advance if there are no early signs of interest as he has demonstrated to her.

Ángel's advice sounds more like a middle ground compared to the two opposite points I've been through... John, keep in mind my advice, but listen to Ángel and hope you get not what you like, but what's best for you in the end... as I have always told you, ^_^

La Placita for Sagittarians on a Full Moon

Yesterday after lunch my best friend GTalked to me and told me to meet up at La Placita de Santurce to talk about the week and steam off some of the stuff that can happen in a week (as what happened in my previous post). So, as I work closer to La Placita than him (and he had to answer beeper messages from Chú at his home), I got there like an hour before to get parking in the usual free spot. As I was walking to La Placita, a SUV stopped besides me, someone got his head out and called my name. I had to take a second look because it was an old friend of mine from high school that I haven't seen since my last class reunion and lives in the States. He told me he was going to meet up other high school friends in La Placita, so I got there and hanged around with them for a bit until my best friend arrived. It was good to meet old friends and talk about things we have gone though and our experiences and from things of our high school years.

Then Ángel, my best friend, arrived and I moved to the usual spot where the owners know us already to the point that we don't have to tell them what we want for drink. We went through the usual exercise of telling stories of the week, developing them around what we believe should be right and what not... things from work, personal, friends, politics, history... when an Ángel's friend from high school arrived to where we were... and then another, and another, and in half an hour Ángel was having his very own 'class reunion' as I had hours ago when I arrived to La Placita.

Then to make things more not-regular yesterday, Flor appeared, out of nowhere. She is really not a usual bystander at La Placita, though she told us yesterday that in years past she used to. So, she joined us in our conversations and had a good time.

So, Ángel and I had our little class reunion and meet up with people that we haven't seen in a long time or we didn't expected yesterday evening.

And you may still be asking what's the part in the 'Sagittarians on a Full Moon'... well, Ángel and I are Sagittarians and yesterday was full moon... let's see what happens today that there's an eclipse, besides me feeling in a writing mood...

DTOP

It's been like a month since my last post, but thanks to the powers that be that woke me up so early this morning (the sun, the baseball-game sounds and the light from my ceiling fan) I feel like writing to anyone and no one at the same time. The first topic to be addressed is my last visit to the Department of Transportation and Public Works (Departamento de Transportación y Obras Públicas: DTOP). There are few things that make me angry, but 2 of them are being scold in front of other people and feel I was made to waste my time. Thank God the first one has no happened in a long time, but the second happened last Monday, Feb 26, when I walk up earlier than usual to get to DTOP to solve as fast as I could the issue of taking out of circulation the old Honda Civic I had sold a year go and that had a tragic death when the driver fall asleep while driving it (not me and nothing happened to her, thank God). After getting an attorney-certified document stating the demise of the car, making 2 queues, and then waiting in another area for my number to be called, I couldn't solve anything because there was, in the car records, a parking ticket that I already payed a year ago. A year ago. One whole year. That's how much technologically advanced is the government systems of this island. The problem is that it's just a reflection of how mature and developed is our government as a whole. Of course, I'm using a more subtle tone in expressing it than the one I used when talking to my friends that Monday, but almost a week has passed since that happened and things tend to loose weight as time goes by... well, except most married couples, but that's another thing, ^_^

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Daphne's 26th Birthday @ Logan's Irish Pub

Here some photos of what happened at Daphne's birthday party. Had a really good time with friends. Next day at work was kind of hard with just 3 hours of sleep, but it was worth it! It's not always that we find an opportunity or the time to get together, so the ones that appear we always enjoy the best in the good company that life has put in our way.

Happy B-Day Daph!